My Influences:
Mrs. Rita G. Gould (April 28, 1922 - Oct. 31, 2001)
matriarch, Grandmom
You may remember the man to the right in the photo above: Grandpop. Guess who the woman to the left is ...
Grandmom!
The photo above was taken on the very last day I spent with either of my beloved and very dear Grandparents. This is one of thousands of images I have of both of them stored in my memory that will stay with me for as long as I breathe on my own.
Most of my stories of influential and inspiring folks, especially family, seem to relate a notable heaviness on a strong internal fortitude and discipline. Grandmom Gould had these things and was quick enough to correct piss-poor behavior (as she would have called it). But, Grandmom Gould spent a lot more of her time teaching me some different lessons.
Community was one of the biggest lessons.
Grandmom was well-known up and down the block (as well as the joining blocks in the neighborhood); she'd lived there since her folks bought the place (a half a double) when she was sixteen years old. She was equally reviled and treasured by the folks in the neighborhood - that all depended on how much you wanted to be a part of the community and how much trouble you caused. The children called her "Mrs. Gould"; I had even heard some of them, in the later years, affectionately call her "Grandmom Gould."
Grandmom was extremely active in keeping the block safe and making sure any and all kids in her view, either from inside through the window and within earshot or from outside on the stoop, were behaving. She was downtown rattling city council about any and all affairs having to do with the West End of Norristown and especially, the affairs affecting the immediate vicinity around 750 Kohn St.
I can remember a number of visits to her house from local politicians and such to discuss or attempt to quell her anger about local affairs.
What I learned from Grandmom's incessant political activity and awareness was that you only get what you pay for when it comes to politics. If you sit idly by and watch, then you get whatever politicians want for you. If you stand up and make your voice heard and sometimes fight for it, you might actually accomplish something for your neighbors, your family and yourself ... your problems don't amount to anything unless you're actively trying to do something about them.
Grandmom and I walked everywhere in town. It was very rare that we got a ride unless it was by bus or taxi or train. Looking back on it, it was one of the best gifts she could have ever given me. On these walks, she wouldn't talk to me very much about things that were going on in my life ... I never really had too much to say as a child. So, she'd tell me about what was going on her life - and I would listen. She spoke to me as an adult, not as a child. She talked about what seemed to me to be a hundred different folks involved with local political problems and more or less expected me to understand what she meant or interrupt with relavant questions. (I just listened; I found if you paid enough attention and kept listening, without interruption, everything would come together in the end.)
Also on these walks, plenty of random folks would walk up to her and address her by name and discuss any number of different matters with her. She seemed to know just about everyone we passed.
One last thing about these walks and Grandmom's public performance in general: if a random child was behaving questionably and there were no adults present, she would first speak to the child, as an adult, to correct the behavior. If this didn't work, I've seen her take children by the arm and bring them to their parents' front door where demands for corrections would take place.
... how times have changed --- thanks namby-pamby parent-ers. How I yearn for the years when strangers actually took it upon themselves to look after the well-being and correct behavior of children!)
I'd like to share the story of the last day I spent with my Grandmom.
I went back to PA for a quick vacation from Austin in 2001. Before I had to return, brother Russell wanted to take me to see Grandmom and Grandpop. We headed over and we enjoyed a very normal visit with them.
Grandpop greeted us at the door with a hug and a kiss. He complained (as crotchety old men can do) about some neighbors and the neighborhood in general and yelled for Grandmom to come see who was visiting. Grandmom, of course, gave us a hug and kiss and was thrilled to have us there.
Grandmom wanted to grab some soup and the daily paper from the corner store for Grandpop, so Russell and I walked her down there. It was a slow and painful walk. Grandmom was in no shape to be walking, especially on an old brick sidewalk (read: extremely uneven and treacherous to old ladies) in some rather questionable repair.
I couldn't help but recall the hundreds of walks I had been on with Grandmom and it felt poisonous to watch her tempt fate with every step. It would have been marred forever if I had to catch her in the midst of a fall. When we got to the corner (a two minute walk normally) eight minutes later, Russell and I had to get above and below her to get her up the stoop and into the place.
The shopkeeper greeted us like family, despite having never met us before. But, he knew that we were with Mrs. Gould. He treated us very nearly like royalty. Grandmom asked for soup and inquired about some stuffed animals behind the counter (she was quite fond of stuffed animals and bought too many of them for the grandchildren and others in the neighborhood). Grandmom thought better of buying any knowing Grandpop would be agitated. The shopkeeper winked at Russell and I when Grandmom looked away and stuffed two of the toys in our bag. Russell grabbed a newspaper and we headed back up the block.
We got home and handed over Grandpop's dinner and paper. He was rather irritated when he discovered that Russell had accidentally picked up two papers instead of one and demanded that one be taken back as it was not paid for. Grandmom and Russell argued a bit that the shopkeeper wouldn't miss that one paper that Russell accidentally lifted. But, this is Grandpop Gould we're talking about ... accident or not, the paper was not paid for and atonement must be made.
Grandmom said she would take it back. Grandpop, in a move he rarely ever made, leaned forward from his chair and bore a hole with his eyes deeply into my soul and said these words, "You had better get up and walk your Grandmother down to that store."
I had planned on it anyway but there was absolutely no doubt that I had just received instructions that were not to be disregarded in any way, shape or form.
Like I was still wearing a uniform, I stood up immediately and opened the door for Grandmom.
... another very painful walk to the corner store ... only this time, Russell wasn't there to help me if Grandmom fell. I was biting my lip the whole time.
Grandmom wasn't.
She was chattering away about local politics and some family affairs that needed order. What's more? Always a collector of "found" money on the street, she spied a couple pennies that needed to be grabbed and pocketed for one of the grandchildren (depending on the date on the coin.) She also found a random Matchbox toy car on the ground that needed to be cleaned and passed on to one of the newer great-grand children. -- I had to pick up coins and car. She couldn't do it and that hurt to see.
Bittersweet, indeed.
A couple of small neighborhood kids ran up to her for a hug from Mrs. Gould. They needed to tell her how good they were doing in school.
When we got to the corner store, the shopkeeper came out from behind the counter to help me hoist Grandmom up the stoop. Then, he proceeded to scold us both and told us to take some of that scolding home for Grandpop and Russell that we had not broken any rules by accidentally grabbing two papers and that, if we ever did something like this again, he would never charge Grandmom for one more item! He shooed us out of the store only taking the paper because Grandmom told him that Grandpop would be irate if we brought it back.
On the way home, Grandmom spoke more about local stuff and some of the neighborhood kids. Half way back, a young lady popped her head out of a third floor window shouting, "Mrs. Gould!! Wait, Wait!"
We slowed our roll slightly to allow this girl to catch us. The lady ran out of her place at full steam to catch up with us. She hugged Grandmom and told her something about her week's events. Grandmom introduced me like she always had, "... This is my grandson, Ryan. He does "... this and that and the other thing "... and I'm so wonderfully proud. You should see him do his thing, you wouldn't believe it ..." (This happened all the time and I felt rather embarrassed about -- didn't matter what silly thing I was doing with my life, as a child or an adult ... )
We broke away from the conversation but not before the young lady could hug Grandmom and say, "I love you, Mrs. Gould." We made it home safely and all was well.
Bittersweet, indeed.
Grandmom made her mark wherever she was and folks held her in a very loving way. She made the very best of what she had and she did it with a smile and a sly humour about her. She kept it light. As a rule, she made others happy and comfortable. She expected responsible behavior but never demanded with words; she demanded it by her own responsible behavior and good will. If you failed those tests, then you would definitely hear about it!
Grandmom was one of the sweetest things in my life. She still is. I carry her with me in every moment of my day. Her smile and happy attitude are the gifts she wanted me to share with the rest of the world. She wanted me to make the world a better place and that's what I intend to do with myself and her gift.
Thank you Grandmom! Thank you for all the stories (as well as the patented, long-winded, multiple plot-lined Gould story telling gene.) Thank you for all of the cookies and toys! Thank you for my father, your son! Thank you for your light heart and happy smile! Thank you for all of your love and pride!
I love you!
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"Behind the ostensible government, sits enthroned an invisible government owing no allegiance and acknowledging no responsibility to the People."
~ Theodore Roosevelt
A couple of small neighborhood kids ran up to her for a hug from Mrs. Gould. They needed to tell her how good they were doing in school.
When we got to the corner store, the shopkeeper came out from behind the counter to help me hoist Grandmom up the stoop. Then, he proceeded to scold us both and told us to take some of that scolding home for Grandpop and Russell that we had not broken any rules by accidentally grabbing two papers and that, if we ever did something like this again, he would never charge Grandmom for one more item! He shooed us out of the store only taking the paper because Grandmom told him that Grandpop would be irate if we brought it back.
On the way home, Grandmom spoke more about local stuff and some of the neighborhood kids. Half way back, a young lady popped her head out of a third floor window shouting, "Mrs. Gould!! Wait, Wait!"
We slowed our roll slightly to allow this girl to catch us. The lady ran out of her place at full steam to catch up with us. She hugged Grandmom and told her something about her week's events. Grandmom introduced me like she always had, "... This is my grandson, Ryan. He does "... this and that and the other thing "... and I'm so wonderfully proud. You should see him do his thing, you wouldn't believe it ..." (This happened all the time and I felt rather embarrassed about -- didn't matter what silly thing I was doing with my life, as a child or an adult ... )
We broke away from the conversation but not before the young lady could hug Grandmom and say, "I love you, Mrs. Gould." We made it home safely and all was well.
Bittersweet, indeed.
Grandmom made her mark wherever she was and folks held her in a very loving way. She made the very best of what she had and she did it with a smile and a sly humour about her. She kept it light. As a rule, she made others happy and comfortable. She expected responsible behavior but never demanded with words; she demanded it by her own responsible behavior and good will. If you failed those tests, then you would definitely hear about it!
Grandmom was one of the sweetest things in my life. She still is. I carry her with me in every moment of my day. Her smile and happy attitude are the gifts she wanted me to share with the rest of the world. She wanted me to make the world a better place and that's what I intend to do with myself and her gift.
Thank you Grandmom! Thank you for all the stories (as well as the patented, long-winded, multiple plot-lined Gould story telling gene.) Thank you for all of the cookies and toys! Thank you for my father, your son! Thank you for your light heart and happy smile! Thank you for all of your love and pride!
I love you!
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"Behind the ostensible government, sits enthroned an invisible government owing no allegiance and acknowledging no responsibility to the People."
~ Theodore Roosevelt
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