Madeline Roesler Jan. 17, 1922 - Oct. 4, 2010
Matriarch
My Mom was raised on a dirt farm in Evansburg, PA, along with her two sisters and one brother, by her Mother, my Grandmother and her Father, my Grandfather (I never got to meet him; he passed away when my Mom was sixteen).
Grandmom is now Great-Grandmom and the head of a family of over sixty individuals. -- yes, family gatherings can be insane and always feats of logistical daring.
Grandmom
Most folks have at least one grandmother who spoils them. I certainly did. Grandmom Roesler was NOT that grandmother! Grandmom Roesler did not sate us with cookies and toys; she told us to go and play outside and to stay out of trouble. Grandmom Roesler explained that when you fouled up, it was your butt on the line and you would pay the price for any wrongdoing.
Of course, I was an angel!
Along with the others I have mentioned in previous scribblings, Grandmom gave me a fierce respect for discipline and responsibility. She demanded this when I was a child - she didn't wait until my adult years or even my teen years to demand proper discipline and/or responsibility, she expected it and GOT IT when I was old enough to understand any words that came from her mouth.
When Grandmom speaks, the children listen! When Grandmom instructs, the children obey!
That was childhood.
In adulthood, I've come to see my beautiful grandmother as a queen - the queen of my family and the queen of my heart.
All that discipline and all that respect she taught me has been the best gift anyone could have ever given. It has vaulted me over just about every hurdle I've ever encountered.
Grandmom is strong. My Mom says that Grandmom is the strongest woman she has ever known. I'm not talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger strength; I'm talking about will power, tenacity and internal control; a desire to win no matter the odds.
From what I've seen and know of Grandmom, I agree with Mom - wholeheartedly.
She taught me where to find this strength. She taught me that it doesn't come from an outside source of any kind - it comes from inside; from the knowledge that doing right, being responsible, and making wise, thoughtful decisions builds stubborn muscle and depth of character.
She didn't teach it with words, she taught it through actions. She made demands on me that just don't fit in with today's lackluster and coddling (namby-pamby childrearing) standards. Grandmom had definite expectations and I am so very thankful for that!
In return for this adherence to discipline and responsibility, Grandmom shines the light of a very warm and loving heart on me. She is over 1700 miles away but I feel the love she holds for her family and for me all the way down here.
Grandmom also taught me to see through a line of crap as well as see the good in others characters. I have always looked for friends - loved ones - that would hold up against Grandmom's standards.
So, Grandmom, I thank you for helping me to find my dear wife. I knew if I kept looking, bearing in mind your standards, I would find someone with your strength and good heart.
I'm so very proud of you Grandmom! I know you're leaving us soon. I know that you're proud of all that you have done and for the great family you raised. I know that when you're gone, you'll be in my heart, the same way you are now - the pillar of my character and strength that keeps me going.
Thank you for the amazing gifts you have given me - all of them; but most importantly, the incredible love in your heart and the most precious Mom a son could ever need and want.
I love you.
Your grandson,
Ryan
Thursday, October 07, 2010
I’ve spent a number of hours poking around in my head and heart looking for the right way to express the thoughts or the feelings I have after Grandmom left us this week. On the eight-hour drive home from New Orleans yesterday, I sat behind the wheel thinking of her and all that she gave the family and all that she gave me.
I did my best to remember Grandmom when she was independently mobile. I remembered how it seemed (at least from the perspective of an angsty teenager, then as a struggling young-adult) she kept the family together by sheer will and gritty, stubborn expectation. Our family’s unifying force was her great spirit. She brought us into the world (directly or indirectly) and she’d be damned to see us behave in a manner other than caring for each other like a family should lest she take us out of the world … directly.
Grandmom was the head of a family that has presented me with so much love and support and has always treated me like every minute with me has been a good one.
She helped us all cherish each other. She did that by example. At every family gathering I attended after my return from the Far East, I could see a light in her eye as she scanned her brood. It was a regal gleam; it was a proud flash that signaled her happiness with each of us individually and as a whole; we were her life’s work and she was gracious and impressed.
That light in her eye was a small shimmer of the brilliant spirit of her love for us that was nestled deeply in her heart. And, that’s where she taught me to keep you, my family, and all my loved-ones. Whether you live next door or if you live 1700 miles away in a different state or country, I’m holding you in my heart and cherishing the warmth of your spirit.
Grandmom took her leave and I will always miss seeing that sparkle in her eyes and feeling the joy in her hugs and kisses. She isn’t gone though; she lives in all of our hearts. She lives on as we share our love and care for each other.
Thank you, dear Grandmom. I promise to keep you close for all my days.
I love you.
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"The evils of government are directly proportional to the tolerance of the people."
~Frank Kent
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